How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen

रोजी प्रकाशित केले 4 मार्च, 2020
Frederik Imbo studied theatre at the Royal Conservatory of Ghent and has acted in lots of television series. He founded Imboorling and now has over 15 years' experience in stimulating and supporting people. With the aim of improving their communication skills Frederik gives presentations, workshops, training courses and personal coaching sessions to anyone prepared to make their two ears available.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

टिप्पण्या

  • So excellent. I really needed to hear this.

  • 4:30 you'll thank me =)

  • This is a great lesson, given by a sympathetic guy

  • Hahahahaha you are describing me... I feel hurt when not acknowledged and take things very personally... thanks for pointing it out .. enjoyed this

  • Hey you, yes you 😊. you're probably scrolling through the comments like me. Just remember you are a beautiful person and deserve all the happiness in the world. Take some time to work on you, don't stress about whats going on in the world, or what you are going through. Its time to live your life, we only get one! Things will get better soon, I promise. ❤ Relaxing Music, Karma Llama. ❤

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  • I needed this. Bad! More than food for today. I hear a lot of things that I can transition into my personality and character. This was absolute substance.

  • Just that last 1 minute of the video is worth it all! Great message 🥰

  • Michael Jordan needs to watch this.

  • Beautiful allegory and amazingly authentic emotional intelligence teachings in the tea break time❤💙💚 Many thanks 😊

  • Thank you for sharing this. It opened me to a whole new perspective of thinking on things that happened to me. It definitely takes a lot of courage and experience to be able to talk and relate to things that hits us so deep. Much appreciation here!

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    • Thank you Frederick Imbo

  • Very cool

  • Wow great ending, I read during the video similar comments to mine but didn’t expect that at the end, thank gosh ppl didn’t spoil the ending .. great quality video & lesson .. always remember your value .. 🙏🏾

  • Amazing Advice

  • I think the reason you don't take it personally when someone calls you an orange is because it is just a ridiculous thing to say to some one

  • Sometimes you do have to take things personally

  • قشعريره

  • beautiful!

  • Loved the ending!!!! Impactful!

  • Thank you Frederik! I take everything personally so I really needed this. I’m definitely going to practice strengthening my ability to handle criticism. Like with anything else in life, it’s all strengthened through practice. 👍

  • Oh great job moreover the conclusion🇨🇩🙏🏽🙏🏽✌️

  • I sent dis to my mom and my pops lmao hopefully dey don’t take it personally 😂😂

  • “People may attack you, criticise you, or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out, or even walk all over you. But remember, whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value.” - This just hit me so hard. When I take things personally, I always get mad and sometimes fight back ( argue) with the person talked about me (of course things got worse) but after realizing what he said, the more I fight back the more value I lost (wasting my time and becoming more toxic, harmful person). Thank you for this incredible TEDtalk, it help me a lot in becoming a better man

  • Kisss

  • Michael Jordan disagrees btw

  • Wow! This is one of the best talks I've ever seen and the best closing statement.

  • Frederik looks just like his compatriot; Kevin De Bruyne. Hahaha. But yes, it was one of the greatest Tedx talks. Thank you

  • What if , you don't take it personally and let it go, it will hurt you. Let's say, they say u can't be a referee, but u know u can (being right), how can u take that not personally (The job applications not allowing you, because they say, you can't be a referee either, u should just be a player).

  • Awwwwww loved it.

  • My EGO is so high, I never thought its me.

  • 4:46 "It's our ego." It's not "ego." It's self-esteem. There's a difference. "Ego" is conceit, while self-esteem is self-worth. As a hypothetical example, if someone's friends exclude her/him from an activity, that person who's excluded may feel slighted and suffer a loss in self-esteem. That person who's excluded may feel she/he is not good enough or worthy of inclusion. That hurts. It's actually "ego" for the friends doing the excluding because on some level, they erroneously believe they're in a more stable social position than the excluded friend due to their being in the "in-group," and they may be too blinded by "ego" to realise their self-delusion. But of course, they're the ones who are obviously in a less stable social position because "in-group" is fragile and inevitably collapses as one by one, the members of the "in-group" leave to do other things. In contrast, the excluded person who enjoys her/his own company, loves her/himself, and can have fun on her/his own need not worry about social stability because in a group of one, she/he can never be thrown out or left behind, and she/he has full control over her/his happiness and feel self-assured that that happiness does not depend on validation from others. And that's the foundation of truly resilient, long-lasting self-esteem.

  • Look up this psychological-abuse term: GASLIGHTING. There are some people who do this to everyone around them, and build up a kind of gang-mentality against "others" they focus too much on. When you realize this kind of abuse has been used on you, the abuser's attempts to control, blame, or judge you becomes obvious. As Yahusha said, "If you abide in My Word, you are truly My disciples, and you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free." [Yahukanon 8:31-32]

  • bro that ending spoke absolute volumes.just wow

  • I have hard time re- shifting my thinking but hopefully after this talk I remember “ it’s not about me “ and it’s EGO .. thanks for this presentation 🙏🏽

  • Tysm! No one would ever teach me this.

  • Well, to be honest, it's often more useful to be right than happy... And you can be mindlessly happy just cheating yourself... but these are cheap tricks to me, I don't buy it. Of course it is advisable not to ponder too much on our failures, let alone get depressed by them... But it shouldn't come at the cost of blindfolding yourself to reality... And a football referee should know about it damn well. Am I to think they don't strive to be professional, just seek an occasion to practise happiness no matter what players and spectators see? 😎

  • Feeling relaxed after hearing it.🙂

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  • Thank you for this presentation. I admire your public speaking abilities and the topic was excellent too. I needed to hear what you said. Being the scapegoat in my family, I am sensitive to perceived slight or criticism, even after years of therapy. You gave me a new way of responding to my ego when it is poked. Thanks again.

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  • great speech but I like how whenever he asked a question to the audience there was just silence

  • Thank you for this. I needed it.

  • Michael Jordan has left the chat

  • and I took that personally

  • One of the best Tedx Talk I've seen.

  • I am here because I want to change myself.

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  • "Don't take it personally" is one of the agreement on the book by Don Miguel Ruiz. That book was a big help.

    • @Maureen Khimmery B. Supan It's is interesting indeed. You won't regret it.

    • @Aziz Kambali thank you! It sounds interesting. I'll be sure to read it on my break

    • @Maureen Khimmery B. Supan "The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom"

    • What book is it?

  • Funny how this just came along exactly when I needed it...

    • Me too! I’m scared that my friend is moving on from me ( he got a girlfriend, we barely talk anymore and when we do we talk about her) and last night I stayed up thinking about what I’ve done wrong. I can be petty, I’m hotheaded, I don’t share his hobbies etc. this is exactly what I needed to hear. ITS NOT ABOUT ME!

  • Michael Jordan should watch this

  • EXCELLENT.

  • Thankfully Michael Jordan did not see this.

  • Really deep and meaningful

  • When You focus on the intention of the other person, There's no need to take it personally..... This dude is a legend

  • Show this to Michael Jordan

  • im speechless this was amazing!!

  • Is there even sitting someone in front of him? So silent damn

  • 16:13 while taking out his 20 Euros note, he accidentally dropped a coin. I don't know if he noticed or not but I wanted to point it out.

  • Amazing man good job. Thanks a lot.

  • i think its in my dna to not take things seriously and make horrible comedy out of it and i feel personally attacked by that.

  • easier said than done.

  • Thanks

  • Amazing talk! Awesome conclusion! Lots of respect!

  • His teaching relates to my thinking. This is helping a chang in my thinking ,and is helping my high blood pressure.

  • This is so true for me i need to change n be more happy n chill in this sense

  • I remember there was a class in my middle school that was similar to this I think was named 'Character development.' Just putting it out there if anyone wants to learn more about topics like these.

  • Majestic and breathtaking. You are so right about being fortunate to live beneath dark skies. Millions around the globe are, sadly, cut off rom the universe in a very real way. This was your finest opening, Richard! That Sony does great things with video at night. Maybe you can now better capture a light painting session so we can see your timings and technique?

  • Loved the last 20euros example

  • We need a Tedx Talks School 😊

  • As a performer, I too wondered why the audience would be quite when I would perform on stage. Like many people here are wondering the same question about this audience. One day I asked a seasoned performer if he knew why the audience wasn’t clapping or being more vocal... he told me that the when a performance is so good, the audience is captivated by the presentation that they don’t think to clap or show emotion. It all makes sense because at the end of every show we would get a standing ovation. Crazy how that works. And in the theater world being quite is good etiquette as well. You literally have to tell the audience they can clap and make noise.

  • Epic ending

  • Yesterday someone asked me if I was insecure about my body and I lied to them and told them no I love my body. It definitely needs some work but I love it nonetheless because it is mine and mine only... I felt attacked by the mere question that I cried my eyes out until I fell asleep. Maybe the person was raising this seeing how I'm always so reserved and unconfident ... Or it is about me... The fact that it is hard to look at myself in the mirror, take pictures and post them, wear fashionable clothes like girls my age or even walk down the street without my arms crossed and head pointed at the ground... But you see, these are things you can't tell people... As a girl who grew up without a mother around... there are things that affect the way you view yourself... But this guy brings an interesting idea to my head. It is so simple but hardly ever practiced. I'm not in need of sympathy, I just wanted to share my piece of story and tell you to stay strong.

  • how handsome of a man. thanks for the talk.

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  • Good stuff✌️

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  • Thank you

  • People on the internet especially twitch, twitter, reddit should see this and take his advice. I am fcking tired of banning words on forums and see whining people on meme subreddits that they got offended by something that's not offensive in any way.

  • I am just here to see the other side of the story

  • this is some polyanna naive kind of wishy washy thiinking and quite harming. you can take this personally

  • Just love it, thank you.

  • What if he shits on the 20EUR - who wants it then?:)

  • OMG. The ending was GOLD. A huge thank you Frederick for this much-needed pep talk.

  • Hi Frederik, thanks very much!

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  • Wow sir that was really really helpful❤️❤️

  • I cried when he said "No matter what people say, you will always keep you value." Hit me like a ton of bricks.

    • @Funky Human if you really know your value, and know your identity and perfection no even bullies can step over you. God made us as his image just the way we are ... Blessings!

    • @Create With Darling jj

    • Kk

    • Not true because if ppl bullie then well you're fudged

    • Me too 😭

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  • I was really glad that i'd stumbled on this video and this was my first time that I watched ted talk that I really finished it. At the end of the video it was a very thought-provoking metephor. I even smiled at the end of the video while he said "You will always keep your value."

  • This guy is a genius

  • I needed this today. Thanks, Google.

  • In conclusion: $20 is $20

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    • Whatzapp

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  • Wonderful public speaking and suberb ending! Will have to use that sometime!!!

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    • Whatzapp

    • All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊

  • 9:54 my thoughts exactly

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    • Whatzapp ✅

    • All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊😊

  • i showed this to my girlfriend but she took it personally

    • +1 3 0 2 4 8 1 9 2 5 7

    • Whatzapp

    • All thanks to Janet foreign exchange for helping me to trade my $400 into Bitcoin and I was credited with the sum of $5400 after seven working days of my trade with her now I’m debt free I can settle my bills without even touching my paycheck I’m so happy with Bitcoin life is easy 😊